6 – 21 – 17 It's Okay to Be Wrong

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There’s a cheeky expression I often use in my personal life, especially with Emilia, that I feel also has some theological connection to it. Often, when we disagree about something unimportant like whether marmalade or jam is the better spread I’ll say to her, “It’s okay to be wrong dear.” I’m not sure where I picked it up, but it sounds like something you might hear in a classroom as a teacher encourages their students to raise their hands to answer a question.

But I think we should take this as a mantra in our spiritual lives as well. It’s okay to not have a perfect understanding of how one being could be three persons. It’s okay to not have the Gospel of Luke memorized and it’s okay to be unaware of Catholic social doctrine. A quick disclaimer however, the reason for the unknowing in all these cases is ignorance or lack of what would be an impressive effort. We are responsible for educating ourselves to the best of our ability, but that does not mean we are necessarily to blame for things we don’t know. We are to blame, however, for those teachings or obligations we reject in an effort to claim our life back from God. I think the difference is pretty plain, it’s a question of being ignorant or obstinate.

Therefore, we should proceed forward with what we know at any given time. We should spend much time in prayer and contemplation before we make important decisions but we should not wait around to have a perfect understanding of Christ before we act. I predict that won’t happen for the great majority of us until the skin of our body is quite cold. I think a good exemplification of this would be my grandfather, AJ.

He worked constantly for what he thought would most benefit his community and his family. Trying to bring industry to the area in an effort to lift some out of poverty, and enhance the prosperity of the town he called home. I’ve heard he was sometimes so busy in committees that he didn’t spend much time at home, which is regrettable. But I think his apparent workaholism is easily explainable by something he said to me several weeks before he died. Grandpa died slowly from cancer, and thereby had a lot of time to think about what was to come. One day, out of the blue, as I was standing in the living room (I may have been the only one besides him in the room at the time but I don’t recall) he looked up at me from his motorized recliner and said, “I just hope I’ve done enough to get into Heaven.”

I do think AJ is in Heaven. I think he honestly pursued what he thought was right throughout his life, he was in the least a decent man in all respects. But this statement is not what we believe as Catholics. I think it may sound very familiar to many people, as it is a somewhat popular belief among older people in the Church, this notion that it is our own acts that save us. I will say I much prefer this somewhat guilty and heavy belief to the trend spreading today in non-denominational and other churches, the concept that since God is all-forgiving we shouldn’t worry too much about being morally upright, but we should make sure to ask for forgiveness and believe in Him. I think this is sort of doublethink, to submit to a being as God but then not follow its commands. At least the belief grandpa expressed is not self-contradictory, the idea that God has some bar or standard to pass for salvation.

But I think he is in Heaven! I think it is okay with God that we be wrong! As long as this misguidance is a result of ignorance I don’t see how another person, let alone God who is infinitely merciful, could blame us for it. I think to a degree he desires us to be wrong at least at some points in our lives, as he wants us to grow in the faith. If we had been born with a perfect understanding of who God is, and how we are to be, then there would be no purpose for us to be on earth. I think we shall be wrong about some things all our lives, and most likely wrong about some very important things for at least some of our lives. As this is the way it is with those who most honestly seek God, I think it is what he intended.

I sometimes forget to thank God for insights like these, that a taunt I like to use on my girlfriend could relate to the life of my grandfather, and all of our salvation. Anything I may do is through the gifts he has given me, the life he has sustained in me today, and the small seed of grace he has planted in my heart.