Looking, Maybe Seeing (A Glassy-Eyed Robin)


My eyes lean through a pane of glass as octogenarians and those slightly and much younger share a prayer I am too distracted to take communion in.
I watch a red and brown bird hop along the ground as it looks, and maybe sees.
It comes closer to the window still looking, and maybe seeing, down near its feet. It hops once more and through the pane, holds my eyes within its unthinking stare.
But it is not even a stare, just that that’s where the eyes of the being are pointed.
I immediately envy the owner of the eyes, knowing it feels nothing of what I feel at the moment.
Of the guilt that tilts that my chin downward and places, gently, a wet blanket on a heart made to burn.
Of the knowledge that I, perhaps, am not a good man. While this bird, looking into me, without trying, is exactly what it should be.
Could it be otherwise? Just by being alive and exemplifying the traits of a robin, this robin is a “good” robin. However, my being alive and exemplifying “human nature” would not qualify me as a good man.
This robin is good by being what it is. I am good by denying the parts of myself that seek to rule over the whole. This robin possesses no competing passions, possesses no "should."
The robin cocks its head to the side, maybe in confusion. Looks, and maybe sees, what I am thinking in my eyes. Could it really be confusion?
Could this robin ever confuse an apple for wisdom? Or my help for my enemy? I do so every day, calling what is good evil, and what is evil good.
I comfort myself with the assurance that there is no understanding without confusion, so at least I have some advantage on this bird who looks through me, and maybe sees me.
A priest holds a piece of bread and a cup in the air, saying words we both profess but I cannot understand. I look, maybe seeing, at what he holds and my eyes become glassy now too.
The robin is good because it is meant to look, as I am deficient because I am meant to see.
But I hold this hope of seeing, knowing not what it might mean to see, but only that I should and do desire it.
I cannot say I am glad I am not the bird, it wouldn’t make sense to if the bird looks but does not see as I suspect. But I am glad to be I. 

---------------------------------------------

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/061018.cfm 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

8 - 11 - 17 Dogs are Better than People? (5 minutes)

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” We are not asked to deny our cravings. Neither are we asked to deny our vices. We are not asked to gain further resolve in the pursuit of holiness in order to deny any of our own weaknesses. We are asked to deny the totality of our current selves in preference for the new self Christ will fashion within us. I’ve written before about how Christ’s call is not just a new moral standard. If it were it would be an impossible one. It seems to me that the Christian vision of discipleship is actually quite different than that of the Jewish, though this is only in my perception and I am quite ignorant of Judaism as it extends beyond the Old Testament. It is less about behaving a certain way than it is about having a certain state of being. All our righteous actions garner some of their value in that they have a tendency to move us closer to the type of being God desires us to be. I’m not saying t
Read more

6 – 20 – 17 Be Ye Perfect

Link to Daily Readings “So be ye perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” A tall order to say the least. Quite impossible to be sure. But I think this is the idea. I think part of what Jesus is trying to communicate in this command is not only that he understands how difficult our task is, but that he wants us to understand that it is not possible for us to achieve it on our own. Many people are capable of pure, perfect acts. A moment of divine unselfishness that will likely sing in the memory of the person they helped as an example of Christ on earth. To string two together, without stopping to think about how good of a person I am? Now that’s quite a bit more difficult. Once we get into the span of ten minutes, one hour, the prospect becomes quite hopeless. To think of living a perfect day is quite laughable. That’s one thing I always thought was interesting about striving for moral perfection. We truly do have the ability, just not the endurance. It’s as tho
Read more

6 - 23 - 17 Jesus is Smarter than Drake

6 – 23 – 17 Link to Daily Readings This passage contains Jesus proclaiming that He is the only path to the Father, that He is the only method of salvation for all human souls. There probably couldn’t be a more important thing in the universe. In this passage He also says, “I am meek and humble of heart.” Which seems like quite the contradiction when we consider these two ideas together, but we are thinking of our human experience. Jesus does not need to boast, firstly it would not be in his nature, secondly there is nothing he would desire to lay claim to being that He is not. In this passage He is simply telling his disciples about the nature of His ministry, expressing to them the importance of not only Himself, but his teachings. I think this distinction is what makes these statements feel contradictory to each other when they in fact are not. Most other times we have heard someone boast on that level, of being all-powerful or the very, very best at something it is eit
Read more